Eddie and I Were Shocked! Shocked! at the Appearance of Grade School 'Test Prep' Books

I prayed that I wouldn't find any of these titles in LINKcat.  (And this pic is just a sample of what Barnes & Noble has in stock.)

Answered!  (Or maybe I was just too revolted to conduct a thorough search.)

Can we please not go any farther down this dark path?

I need an otherworldly musical interlude.